A break from niceness

Chris McGowan — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:28:59 +0000

I know this is a blog about being a nice guy, in promotion for my 1-person show, but I had lots of not-nice thoughts as I sat in traffic today. In Los Angeles, it’s cliche to complain about traffic, much like using the punchline “cooler by the lake” to any joke set-up, no matter how witty, is cliche in Chicago. That and Southside jokes. But traffic in L.A. today exceeded even L.A. standards. I sat in traffic for an hour, on a segment of my route home that should take 5 minutes. Seriously. It’s about 6 blocks and it took an HOUR. And then I saw the cutters.

Ever since I was a young kid, I hated anyone who cut in line. In my grade school, whether we were going to gym class, or going to lunch or leaving for the day, we always got in a single-file line along the chalk board, waiting for the bell to ring to let us go. Every so often, someone would cut in-line. I hated that with silent yet seething passion. I gave nasty glares, nicknamed the Evil Eye, and although I doubt it struck fear into the offenders, I had mastered one nasty look to shoot to all those line-cutters.

If you haven’t already noticed, we never really stop being who we were in grade school. People still cut in line, only now we’re in Ralph’s, or at a baseball stadium or in a traffic jam.

Twice, while I sat in this awful awful traffic, a shiny expensive car zoomed past us all. Either taking the turn lane or the center lane. I mumbled to myself, ”If he doesn’t turn, I swear to god, I’ll -” and of course he didn’t turn. He cut in line. In those moments, as I stewed, I said to myself, if some car tries to do that to me – CUT in line – I will keep driving. We will get into an accident. We will rub side panels and I will laugh! My ruby red paint will get all over his shiny black paint and I will get out of the car and yell, “NO CUTS NO BUTTS NO COCONUTS NO EARMUFFS!”

Granted, I never got the chance. But be forewarned, Los Angeles jerk drivers. Ain’t no cutting here, even if I am a nice guy.

3 Final shows for “How To Kill a Nice Guy!”

Chris McGowan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:49:59 +0000

If I haven’t badgered you on Facebook, congrats. I’m going to badger you here. But hopefully also provide some content.

The FINAL 3 LA Shows for “How To Kill a Nice Guy” are as follows:

- Saturday, July 18th, 8:30pm, iO West Mainstage, tix are $10 (we’re taping this one, too!) 6366 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA
- Tuesday, July 28th, 10:30pm, iO West Blackbox theater, Free!
- Thursday, August 6th, 8pm, M.I. Westside Theater, $5 in advance, $10 at the door (FINAL SHOW!), M.i.’s Westside Comedy Theater, 1323-A 3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica CA 90401

Also, I have an email address, howtokillaniceguy@gmail.com – I’d love to hear feedback or any questions guys or girls might have about nice guys.

Come out to the show – I’d love to see ya and offer you a bit of my story!

How To Kill a Nice Guy - Shows, Thoughts, Nice Stuff

A break from niceness

3 Final shows for “How To Kill a Nice Guy!”